January 2004

Julie Boulanger

la marquise

Hello Operator

Miranda Austin started working as a phone sex operator for the extra cash. She needed to pay off her student loan. After close to a decade of working as a phone slut, she has let her fingers do the talking in her book called Phone Sex: Aural Thrills and Oral Skills.

The book is mostly an account of the various sorts of callers she has had during the span of her career. Contrary to popular belief, phone sex is not all pervs and freaks calling to play out the unfathomable. Many of her callers are your regular Joe, and she writes about many of them and how “normal” and even sweet some of her callers can be. Some of her good calls can actually brighten up a whole week and keep her amazed at the fact that she gets paid for her services. But of course, the not so fun aspects of her job cannot be ignore, such as the (apparently large amount of) men who bluntly hang up on her after having reached orgasm. Or the times when this kinky woman with therapy classes under her belt is faced with tests of sexual fantasy tolerance, which happened when one of her "daddy" callers wanted in his incest fantasy not only to spank and pop his daughter’s cherry, but also to impregnate her. Amazing but true, this tale tells of a kink beyond her limits.

Austin admits that pervs can be more interesting, if not downright funny in a giggling kind of way. But with the interesting callers come the scary ones. She acknowledges how easier it is to indulge, and some times just go through with, her callers’ fantasies because it is their imagination working and nothing more. The keyboard, the phone and the distance all work as buffers. As she states, it is surprisingly easy to say “yes" over the phone. Phone sex can, on the other hand, closely border real life. Clients do become enamoured (not to say obsessed) with their phone slut. Also, some aspects of the job, such as selling a soiled pair of your panties, do come very close to invading personal boundaries. Not withstanding the buffers, the line between reality and fantasy can become slim. Hence the importance of knowing one's limits.

Along with the stories, Austin does give some pointers for those who are curious and might be thinking of taking up this line of work, such as using the net, and specifically adult-unfriendly AOL chatrooms, to pick up clients. She explains how she went about profiling herself so that she might attract callers that have similar fantasies as her own (might as well make it as fun as possible for the two of them!). She discusses the phone sex basics, giving all the clues one might need concerning different types of phone numbers companies might have, the way they appear on the customer’s credit card statement, the various payment methods and how to find, if such a career might interest you, an honest and legitimate phone-sex service company. She also talks of other logistics, such as the ideal kind of phone to use and what to do with your pets when you’re doing a call. She even includes two how-to chapters for callers. The first (chapter nine) targets first-time callers, so that they might know what their role is in such a type of relationship, how to react and what to expect from phone sex (ie, it is not a dating service). The second (chapter eleven) is for the more kink-oriented client and explains how honesty and detail can help you get the best for your perv specific buck.

One interesting point is how she describes her attachment and feelings toward her various cyber/phone personas. She tells of the relationship she has with them, how she feels depending on which girl she is suppose to look like and how she is suppose to act. Her main character is Kristi, a young, tall and slim, small-breasted girl with long red hair. Her second personae is Mistress Nicole, a blond Dominatrix clad in black latex. Next is Jini, an older (read late twenties) Asian girl with medium-sized breasts. A redeeming factor of her job is the sense of help she sometimes offers to her callers. If Kristi can break the shell of a young man who’s sexuality is still being formed, or make one of her clients understand that a rape fantasy is harmless and OK as long as it remains a fantasy, or if Mistress Nicole can bring out a man’s submissive side, a side he never allows to come out, Austin has done her duty as a sex worker. A day’s work well done would be to help a man be honest and accepting of his sexual fantasies, commendable work indeed.

I must admit that half way through the book I got a little bored and wanted to put it down. It did not seem to be going anywhere. Something I found bothersome are the book’s typos and misspellings, a pity considering the author’s reproach of most web sex-workers inability to properly write English. Some of the information she gives out is helpful, but the book’s main attraction is its voyeuristic appeal. Basically, if phone sex doesn’t say much to you and you’re not much of a voyeur, you might want to leave this one on the shelf. If, on the other hand, you are interested in knowing how phone sex is done, what’s the thrill of it and what kind of weird kinks can show up when you don’t have to show yourself, this book is a good read. Some stories, by their sheer weirdness, are worth the chuckle. Her concluding story introduces a ‘Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure’ dude who flips over her being made of glass "cause she’s, like, a chocolate fudge Sunday with, like, fudge in her anus. Yeah! Hot fudge in, like, your anus. Inside of it, yeah! And like, what’s your name again? Yeah, Kristi. Yeah! What’s your phone number baby? Yeah!"

Right…

Phone Sex by Miranda Austin
Greenery Press
ISBN: 1890159484
233 Pages